Love Story

November 2007

During my first decade or more as a Christian, mental peace was elusive.  Mostly, my thoughts were like recalcitrant children that I struggled to corral and silence. They generated unpleasant feelings that interfered when I wanted to say proper words to God. Then I bumped up against Psalm 22.

In that hymn, David explodes in the opening line: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”  Instead of stuffing his feelings in a dark closet the way I did, he described in emotionally-charged words exactly how he felt. If a powerful  leader of  Israel could do that, so could I.  After all, God wanted me to tell him the truth. And the truth was that I felt inferior and afraid.

Like David, however, I ran back and forth between what I felt and what I knew. Read  Psalm 22 and you’ll find out that David felt like a worm. But he knew that God was the Almighty, the  Holy One who ruled the universe. Like David, I knew that others as desperate as I throughout history had trusted Him and were not disappointed.

Timidly, I followed David’s example, swept pretense out the door, sat and felt my feelings before God. Then I spoke to him as honestly as I knew how. Healing came gradually, the way it always does. But it did come.

Imagine  David’s voice in your head as you read Psalm 22 aloud. Feel his emotion, from desperation to praise and back again. 

Pray meditatively. Think quietly and deeply about the poetic ways David expressed his feelings. Use them as a pattern to express your own to God.  Then embrace David’s vow to praise God because he saves his people.
 
Practice God’s love. Choose to count on what is always true. God is always good; he is always faithful.  God is not far off. He will deliver, rescue and save you. 

Finally, step  back in your life. Mow the lawn or walk the dog. Count moment by moment on God who is love to act on your behalf. For He has not hidden His face but has listened to our cry for help (22:24b).

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