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Healing Hope Newsletter
May, 2010
http://www.marionduckworthministries.com
“My father deserted my mom, my sister and I when I was eight years old. I wanted what my friends had growing up—a dad to help me make decisions. I felt short-changed.”
Born in the Dutch colony of Indonesia, Markus* immigrated with his family to Holland when he was fourteen. “I began to play soccer and before long, it became the most important thing in my life.”
After eight years, the family moved to Pasadena, California. “My mother worked long hours to support us so I pretty much raised myself. The money she earned didn’t stretch far enough to pay for clothes like other kids had.” When his soccer coach noticed that the soles of his shoes were coming off, he asked why he didn’t get new ones.
"I don’t have any money.”
“Where does your father work?”
“I don’t have a father.”
"He took me to a closet that had shorts and shoes. Even though nothing fit me right, they were better than what I had."
In those days, Markus says, he was always angry. ”So I tried to be tough. And soccer was my god.” Although he couldn’t accept an invitation to practice with a pro team because he didn’t have a car, he was able to play with the city league.
It was during practice one day as he lay on the ground that quite unexpectedly he sensed the presence of God. That experience made him hungry to know more about Him. So when Markus went on dates, he’d asked the girls what they knew about God. “They thought I was crazy.”
Now that he was making a name for himself in the soccer league, Markus wanted to return to Holland and see if he could make money playing pro soccer. “But in a game one day, he injured his knee badly. “Another player said he could hear it crack from the other side of the field.” That was the end of his professional soccer career.
“I blamed God for allowing me to get hurt. ‘Lord, you don’t know what you are doing here,’ I told him. ‘This is the only way I can make some money!’” He’d always prided himself on being a self-made man and now he saw himself as a failure.
For the next two years, he fought with God. One day, he drove to the ocean at Long Beach. “As I sat on the sand and watched the ships come in and go out, I thought about how easy it would be to end my misery. I could walk out into the harbor and just keep going
“I was so angry: my birth father had abandoned me; my career in soccer was over. I had to support my mom and that didn’t leave me with an extra penny to spend.” He concluded that the God his mother had taught him about since he was a child, had rejected him
“As far as I was concerned, God was dead.” In frustration, he vented his anger at his mother. She wept and told me to keep praying and not give up.
It felt as though God had nailed me to the wall. ”For three days, every minute I was awake was torture. ”Finally, in the middle of the night I cried out to God that I was willing to do anything if only he wouldn’t reject me. Despite the hour, Mom decided we should go see my brother-in-law, who was a Christian.”
His brother-in-law, Garrett, came straight to the point. “Do you want to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior?” Markus said that he did. “Are you sure? You know that you will not be your own.” In anguish, I told him that I was ready.” That night, the one-time soccer player asked Jesus to come into his life.
"On the way home, we drove through the section of Pasadena that was full of addicts and prostitutes. But in my eyes, everything had changed. “’Man, this city is beautiful,’ I told my mom. ‘Look at that building!” We passed a park I’d never noticed before. ‘Look at that tree!
Now, I had a personal relationship with God who is my Father. “I’ve never looked back. The world was taken off my shoulders. It blew my mind.”
In June’s Healing Hope Newsletter you’ll learn how God changed Markus’ ideas about marriage, how he narrowly escaped death twice and how he finally forgave his father.
Websites: http://www.marionduckworthministries.com
http://www.healinghopeonline.com
* Markus and Garrett are pseudonyms
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