The Healing Hope Newsletter - September 2011
Dear Friends,
When Katie’s husband adopted radical religious views, he hammered her with his belief that the Creator’s name was not God and the Messiah’s name
was not Jesus. “Since I’d been praying in those names, Norm insisted that He had never heard me.” Devastated, Katie worried that He been deaf to her prayers all those years. Perhaps she had never known God at all even though she accepted Jesus as Savior when she was eight years-old! “I was in a black hole of despair.”
Throughout her painful marriage, she’d prayed to be a better person and waited for deliverance or a miraculous recovery of their marriage. “One day when Norm told me I was stupid for the hundredth time, he said: “I want you to leave and I want a divorce. His exact words.”
That very moment, Katie heard God very clearly. It’s time. You’re through. So very calmly, I said “Okay.” He stormed out.
“For eighteen years, I’d felt obligated to keep my marriage vows. Now I knew it was over.
“I found strength in a home church where they accepted me. It was through them that God first showed his loving-kindness.” Then a troubled friend confided that she had been repeating the destructive mantra of, “stupid, ugly, worthless,” to herself for years. To her horror, Katie realized that she’d been doing the same thing. After that, she began to replace those words with “Smart, passable and worthwhile.”
About a year ago, Katie told her story in church and thanked them for their love and patience. A few days later, she received an e-mail from friends in another state saying they’d been aware of her marital struggle and had been praying for her. “You were always a bright spot in our world, like a porch light on a dark prairie. You can see it for miles…Thanks for sharing your light with us.”
Katie was surprised and puzzled. How could anyone think so highly of me? “When I prayed that God would enlighten me, He gave me a three-part answer. First, in the Pastor’s sermon the following Sunday, he emphasized the fact that we should forgive ourselves.” To Katie, that meant that she should forgive herself for failing at marriage.
The next day she heard a preacher on the radio urge Christians to stop cursing themselves. That can cause fear, shame and even illness. I knew that was true because the stress of not measuring up had made me sick. The third day she reread about the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31. “She perceives that her merchandise is good.” “Although I’d achieved major accomplishments in my work, it hit me that I still doubted my abilities.
“That was a revelation to me.” When she accepted her worth, she instantly sensed the peace of being loved by God, her Father, by Jesus, her brother, and by the Holy Spirit, her best friend. Katie knows now that she is not to agree with the enemy who comes to steal, kill and destroy.
A few days later, she almost skipped to her car after having lunch with church friends. “It was such a joy to be with them, knowing they liked me.” Sarcastically, she murmured to herself. “You think you’re something special, don’t you?” I grinned in answer. “Yes, I am! My Father thinks I’m special, so I must be.”
Blessings,
Marion Duckworth
*Katie and Norm are pseudonyms
Visit my websites at:
http://www.marionduckworthministries.com
http://www.healinghopeonline.com
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